|
Home > Reviews > YouTube
 |
Review: YouTube |
| Product type: |
Television (on the internet) |
Maker: |
Google, which I use, and which should have known better |
| Price: |
Free, with a mattress in front of it |
Date reviewed: |
04/13/2026 |
| Tested on: |
The other computer (Denise's laptop, Windows 10). See About. |
What I Was Told This Was
YouTube is a site of videos. I do not watch videos to find out what things are. A page of writing goes at my speed. A video goes at the speed of the man in it, and the man is never in a hurry.
The oil light on the Buick came on. It is not the oil. I check the oil. It is the light, which has to be reset with buttons, and the manual was in the Buick, and the Buick was in the rain. Kyle said "just YouTube it." YouTube is not a verb. Fax is a verb, and it earned it. I went anyway, since I do not like a light on.
What Happened
I'll be frank: it let me in. It did not ask me to sign up. I typed the year and make of the Buick and the words "oil light" and it gave me a list. It is the first site this year that has behaved like a site and not like a door.
The first video was fourteen (14) minutes long. The light takes ten seconds to reset. Hold those two numbers.
Before the video, a woman sold me a mattress. After five (5) seconds a button said "Skip," and I pressed it, and it skipped. It is the first button on the internet that did exactly what it said. If it were a program it would get a four (4). It is a button, in front of a mattress.
The man did not begin with the Buick. He began by asking me to "smash" a button with a thumb on it and to "subscribe," before he had shown me a thing. In sales that is asking for the order before the pitch. At minute four he said the video was "brought to you by" a company and talked about the company for a minute and a half. He had a Sponsor Segment. Mine is shorter and it says no.
At minute eleven and forty seconds he pressed the buttons, on the stalk, in the sequence, and the light went off. I wrote it on the pad, went out to the Buick, and did it. Ten seconds. I came back in and the man was still talking.
The first comment said "first." He was. I do not know what he won. The second comment had the button sequence in one line with the words "skip to 11:40," and two thousand (2,000) thumbs. I will be fair: the comment was the review. It did in one line what the man did in fourteen minutes, and it did not have a sponsor.
A Note on Denise
Denise, it turns out, has been on this site for years. The woman with the recipe from the Sponsors page is on it. I had assumed she was on the television. When I said the man had taken fourteen minutes to show me ten seconds, Denise said "you can drag the little dot, Lyle," and showed me a red line under the video with a dot on it, and the dot goes where you put it, and the man goes with it. Nobody tells you about the dot. Denise did not agree that the program is ridiculous. She said the woman with the recipe is "very good," and went back to her.
Verdict
YouTube is a television with one channel, and the channel is everyone, and everyone has a sponsor. A television has thirteen channels and none of them ask you to smash anything. Another video started when mine ended, which I had not asked for, and I closed it. But I typed a question, and it answered it, and the light is off. I have not been able to say that about a program since Paint.
One (1) action, and under the rules that is a three (3). The three belongs to the man with the Buick and the comment under him. The site is holding it for them. I have written down the dot.
|
Reader Mail on this review (2 entries from the Guestbook)
"Lyle, I'm the guy with the Buick video. Fair review. The fourteen minutes is because the site pays more for videos over ten. The button sequence is the whole thing and I know it. Glad the light's off." – Ray, Springfield, IL, 04/22/2026
Lyle responds: Thank you Ray. That is the most honest thing anyone in this industry has said to me, and I include myself. You have a three (3). The site is holding it for you. Come by if you are ever in Decatur and I will show you the fax machine.
"You can turn off autoplay. There's a switch at the top of the player, next to the settings gear. And the 'SHOCKING' thing is called clickbait, it's not the site, it's the people on it." – Nadia, Toronto, 04/15/2026
Lyle responds: Thank you Nadia. I have found the switch. It is a switch with no word on it, and it was on, and I have said what I think about that. As to the people on it, the site chose to put them on the right side of my Buick. It could have put the comment there instead.
Have something to add? Sign the Guestbook. Mention which review. I will respond, and I will disagree.
|
 Print This Review
|
Disagree? Sign my Guestbook.
|
Back to Reviews
Previous review: X Next review: Reddit
|
