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Home > All Reviews
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All Reviews |
Every review on this site with its full text, newest first. There are 12 of them. Reviews from before 2023 are listed further down, without the text, for reasons explained there.
| Program |
Date |
In One Line |
Score |
Hacker News  |
08/25/2026 |
A newspaper that is only the headlines, with a triangle. |
 
3 Fax Machines
|
| Reddit |
06/22/2026 |
A grocery store bulletin board where the best card has been torn off. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| YouTube |
04/13/2026 |
A television with one channel that is everyone. |
3 Fax Machines
|
| X |
01/19/2026 |
A memo pad with a word limit, renamed, now with a receipt where the name used to be. |
0 Fax Machines
|
| LinkedIn |
11/05/2025 |
A Rolodex that talks, and it is selling something. |
2 Fax Machines
|
| Ticketmaster |
07/14/2025 |
A ticket window with a clock on it and a hand in your pocket. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| GitHub |
03/10/2025 |
A filing cabinet where everyone has a key. |
3 Fax Machines
|
| Slack |
11/04/2024 |
A room where you can talk to yourself, with a pound sign on it. |
2 Fax Machines
|
| Notion |
06/11/2024 |
A word processor with no words in it. |
0 Fax Machines
|
| Spotify |
01/22/2024 |
Compared to a record, which never buffered once. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Microsoft Paint |
09/14/2023 |
Did what it said. |
4 Fax Machines
|
| Figma |
05/16/2023 |
As a photo album it is poor. |
1 Fax Machine
|
Older Reviews (2004–2022)
The full text of every review before 2023 was lost when the hard drive went, in 2011 and again in 2019. Kyle had said something about a "backup" both times and I had said I would get to it. The scores were recovered from the binder, where I write them down, and the one line is from memory. The scores stand. Nothing on this list has been re-reviewed and nothing on it will be changed.
| Program |
Year |
In One Line |
Score |
| Wordle |
2022 |
Did what it said, once a day. Then stopped. |
2 Fax Machines
|
| Clubhouse |
2021 |
A conference call you cannot leave politely. |
0 Fax Machines
|
| Wi-Fi (the concept) |
2020 |
Invisible. I do not trust invisible. |
0 Fax Machines
|
| Microsoft Teams |
2019 |
Slack, from Microsoft, which should have known better. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Gmail (the new one) |
2018 |
Sorted my mail into tabs I did not order. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Snapchat |
2017 |
Messages that delete themselves. A fax does not. |
0 Fax Machines
|
| Amazon Echo ("Alexa") |
2016 |
Answered when I was not talking to it. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Windows 10 |
2015 |
Updated itself while I was in the room. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Microsoft Office 365 |
2014 |
Office, but you pay every year, like a lease. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Instagram |
2013 |
Makes photographs look older. Mine already are. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Windows 8 |
2012 |
The Start button was removed. I did not start. |
0 Fax Machines
|
| Google+ |
2011 |
Circles. I was put in one. |
0 Fax Machines
|
| Dropbox |
2011 |
A folder that is also somewhere else. Pick one. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Netflix |
2010 |
The video store, without the store. |
2 Fax Machines
|
| The iPad |
2010 |
A telephone that cannot call anyone. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Windows 7 |
2009 |
Vista with the questions turned down. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Twitter |
2009 |
A memo pad with a word limit. I have no limit. |
0 Fax Machines
|
| Google Chrome |
2008 |
Fast. Would not say why. |
2 Fax Machines
|
| Facebook |
2008 |
Asked what was on my mind. Not its business. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| The iPhone (the telephone) |
2007 |
No buttons. A telephone is buttons. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Windows Vista |
2007 |
Asked me if I was sure eleven (11) times. I was. |
0 Fax Machines
|
| Windows Live Messenger |
2006 |
The instant messenger, renamed, and worse. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Firefox |
2006 |
Explorer with a fox on it. The fox did nothing. |
2 Fax Machines
|
| MySpace |
2006 |
Other people's music, played at me, from a wall. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Skype |
2005 |
The telephone, with a delay added. |
2 Fax Machines
|
| Google Earth |
2005 |
Found my house. Did not ask. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Napster |
2005 |
Rented me a song. I have never rented a song. |
0 Fax Machines
|
| AOL Instant Messenger |
2004 |
Denise typed to me from the kitchen. There is a hallway. |
1 Fax Machine
|
| Windows XP Service Pack 2 |
2004 |
A firewall came on. I had not asked for a wall. |
2 Fax Machines
|
| RealPlayer |
2004 |
Played the movie, then asked me to buy the movie. |
1 Fax Machine
|
30 reviews. Text lost. Scores kept.
Coming Up
I intend to review the following, in order, when I get to them:
- Zoom (Denise uses it. I have questions.)
- "AI" (the concept)
- Adobe Acrobat (I have been told it "replaces fax." We will see.)
- Slack (Revisited) - Kyle says not to. The score will not change.
Requests may be sent by fax to (217) 555-0142. I do not take requests, but you may send them.
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