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Review: GitHub

What I Was Told This Was

GitHub says it is "where the world builds software." Kyle says it is "where the code lives." Denise said "isn't that the octopus one." Three people, three answers, and none of them was "a place to keep your files," which is what it turned out to be, once I got in.

What Happened

I'll be frank: I did not sign up. The front page asked me for my email address before it had told me a single thing about itself, and I will not be dictated to. I reviewed what I could see, which was a large purple picture of space and a box that wanted my email address.

However, it turns out you do not need to sign up to look. Kyle sent me an address, which he said was "his repo." I am not going to use that word. It is a folder. I went to the folder.

The folder had files in it. I will give it that. They were in a list, with names, and next to each one was a short sentence such as "fix typo" or "oops" or "why." I assume these are Kyle's notes to himself. I did not ask.

Along the top there is a row of words. "Code." "Issues." "Pull requests." I clicked Issues, since I had several. There were four already listed, none of them mine. I looked for a way to add mine. There is a green button that says "New issue," which I clicked, and it asked me to sign in. So the issues, I take it, are only for members. That is itself an issue, and I have noted it.

"Pull requests" I did not click. I do not pull. In my experience if a thing needs pulling, the paper is jammed, and you should turn it off and wait.

On the right side of the folder there is a number next to a star, a number next to the word "Fork," and something called "Watch." I did not star it. I was not asked to fork it and would not have. As to "Watch," I watched it for approximately six minutes and nothing changed, which I consider a fair test.

Now, I'm no expert, but the purpose of a program on a computer is to run it. I looked for the program. There was no "Download." There was no "Install." There was no "Setup.exe," which in my day was the file you double-clicked and then you had the program. There was a green button that said "Code," which I had assumed was a label, since the entire page was code, but Denise informs me otherwise (see below).

Below the files there is a long document with a picture and headings that seems to explain what the folder is for. I did not read it. If I need to read a document to understand a folder, the folder was built wrong.

On Kyle's own page there is a grid of small green squares, some darker than others, which I took to be a calendar of some kind. Kyle says it shows "how much he committed." I told him that in my experience you are either committed or you are not, and a square is not going to settle it. He did not reply.

I will say the site loaded fast and every button had a word on it, which is more than most. That is why it is not a two (2).

A Note on Denise

I asked Denise. I do not usually. She looked at the screen for perhaps four seconds and said "the green button, Lyle, then Download ZIP." I pressed the green button. A menu came down. There was Download ZIP. I pressed it. A file arrived, which I unzipped, and it was a folder of the same files I had just been looking at, on the internet, for free, with no program in it. I now own a copy of a folder. Denise said nothing, which I took as agreement.

Verdict

GitHub is a filing cabinet where everyone has a key and the drawers are labeled with words that mean something else. A real filing cabinet has one key. I have it. It is in the binder.

I completed one (1) action, which was downloading a folder I did not want. Under the rules, that is a three (3). I have checked the rules. I wrote them.

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