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Review: X (formerly Twitter)

What I Was Told This Was

X says it is "what's happening." I looked out the window. It was not. Kyle says it is Twitter. I reviewed Twitter in 2009 and gave it a zero (0). The text went with the hard drive but the score is in the binder. A memo pad with a word limit. I have no limit.

Twitter is now called X. I was in sales for twenty-eight (28) years, and when a company changes its name to a letter, it is not because they ran out of words. I am reviewing X as a new program, since that is what it claims to be. Twitter keeps its zero (0). Scores do not change. Names, apparently, do.

What Happened

I'll be frank: I signed up. I have never signed up for anything in twenty-two (22) years of doing this, and I want it understood why. Kyle sent me a link and said "your site is on here." A man I do not know had written that my Slack review was "the funniest thing on the internet," which it is not, it is a review, and under it there were eleven (11) replies, and it would not show me one of them until I signed in. They were about me. I signed up under protest, and the protest is here, in writing, where it belongs.

It sent a number to my telephone, which I typed back into the computer, which is a fax, done badly. I typed my name. It said Lyle Bramwell was taken. There is one Lyle Bramwell and I have been him since 1969. It offered "LyleBramwell84731." I took it. Whoever has my name may fax me.

The eleven (11) replies: four (4) said it was funny, one said "is this real," one was a cartoon frog, one was Kyle, and one said "Denise is the real hero," which I have not shown her.

I answered the "is this real" one. I typed that it was a review, that the site had been up since 2004, and that the scoring was explained on the Scoring page. The box stopped me at 280. I took out the sentence about the Scoring page and it let me through. It cut the one useful sentence.

Then I could not find what I had written. It was not under the message. I pressed "Show more replies." Not there. I pressed "Show additional replies, including those that may contain offensive content." There I was. I had written the word "review" and the year 2004. A fax machine prints a confirmation page. X put me in a drawer with the frog.

Ahead of every reply was a man with a blue check mark, whose reply was a link to his own site. Kyle says the check means the man pays $8 a month. That is not a check mark. That is a receipt, and they put it on his face, and it moved him to the front of the line.

A Note on Denise

Denise was in the kitchen, since it is the kitchen. A video started by itself, with sound, of a man shouting. Denise turned from the sink, reached over my shoulder, and pressed the little speaker with the line through it. "That's always on, Lyle." A fax machine waits to be asked. Denise said the program is ridiculous. I did not have to say it first, and I would like that noted as well.

Verdict

X is a memo pad with a word limit, renamed, with a receipt where the name used to be. A memo pad does not hide what you wrote in a drawer with a frog. And when you write your name on it, it does not tell you your name is taken.

I signed up and I wrote a reply, and under the rules that is an action. But I cannot prove the reply exists, and a thing that cannot be confirmed did not happen. That is the first rule of document transmission. Zero (0). I have not signed out, since I could not find where, and I would like the eleven (11) people to know I am still there.

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